Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability. If you are going through similar situation, do not give up! Here is an article that will help you get through the traumatic experience that you might be facing.
What is Abuse?
Abuse refers to the mistreatment, harm, or exploitation inflicted upon someone, often resulting in physical, emotional, or psychological damage. It can manifest in various forms such as physical violence, sexual assault, emotional manipulation, or neglect. Abuse is characterized by a power imbalance where one person exerts control and dominance over another, violating their boundaries and rights.
Below I am mentioning few authors who have studied Trauma and its effects on an individual.
In "Stalking - An Overview of the Problem" (Can J Psychiatry 1998;43:473–476), authors Karen M Abrams and Gail Erlick Robinson write:
"Initially, there is often much denial by the victim. Over time, however, the stress begins to erode the victim’s life and psychological brutalization results. Sometimes the victim develops an almost fatal resolve that, inevitably, one day she will be murdered. Victims, unable to live a normal life, describe feeling stripped of self-worth and dignity. Personal control and resources, psychosocial development, social support, premorbid personality traits, and the severity of the stress may all influence how the victim experiences and responds to it ... Victims stalked by ex-lovers may experience additional guilt and lowered self-esteem for perceived poor judgement in their relationship choices. Many victims become isolated and deprived of support when employers or friends withdraw after also being subjected to harassment or are cut off by the victim in order to protect them. Other tangible consequences include financial losses from quitting jobs, moving, and buying expensive security equipment in an attempt to gain privacy. Changing homes and jobs results in both material losses and loss of self-respect."
Surprisingly, verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse have the same effects as the physical variety (Psychology Today, September/October 2000 issue, p.24). Abuse of all kinds also interferes with the victim's ability to work. Abrams and Robinson wrote this (in "Occupational Effects of Stalking", Can J Psychiatry 2002;47:468–472):
"... (B)eing stalked by a former partner may affect a victim’s ability to work in 3 ways. First, the stalking behaviours often interfere directly with the ability to get to work (for example, flattening tires or other methods of preventing leaving the home). Second, the workplace may become an unsafe location if the offender decides to appear. Third, the mental health effects of such trauma may result in forgetfulness, fatigue, lowered concentration, and disorganization. These factors may lead to the loss of employment, with accompanying loss of income, security, and status."
Still, it is hard to generalize. Victims are not a uniform lot. In some cultures, abuse is commonplace and accepted as a legitimate mode of communication, a sign of love and caring, and a boost to the abuser's self-image. In such circumstances, the victim is likely to adopt the norms of society and avoid serious trauma.
Deliberate, cold-blooded, and premeditated torture has worse and longer-lasting effects than abuse meted out by the abuser in rage and loss of self-control. The existence of a loving and accepting social support network is another mitigating factor. Finally, the ability to express negative emotions safely and to cope with them constructively is crucial to healing.
Typically, by the time the abuse reaches critical and all-pervasive proportions, the abuser had already, spider-like, isolated his victim from family, friends, and colleagues. She is catapulted into a nether land, cult-like setting where reality itself dissolves into a continuing nightmare.
When she emerges on the other end of this wormhole, the abused woman (or, more rarely, man) feels helpless, self-doubting, worthless, stupid, and a guilty failure for having botched her relationship and "abandoned" her "family". In an effort to regain perspective and avoid embarrassment, the victim denies the abuse or minimizes it.
No wonder that survivors of abuse tend to be clinically depressed, neglect their health and personal appearance, and succumb to boredom, rage, and impatience. Many end up abusing prescription drugs or drinking or otherwise behaving recklessly.
Some victims even develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop in individuals who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event. It is characterized by a range of symptoms that persist long after the traumatic incident, including intrusive thoughts or memories, nightmares, flashbacks, intense anxiety, and emotional distress. People with PTSD may also exhibit avoidance behaviors, negative mood or beliefs, and heightened reactivity. It can significantly impact daily functioning and quality of life, requiring professional diagnosis and treatment for effective management.
Since we have now understood the various kinds of abuse and its effects; let us now understand few ways to overcome traumatic experiences:
Overcoming traumatic experiences or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a complex process that requires time, support, and professional assistance. Here are five to six points on how a person can work towards overcoming trauma and PTSD:
1. Seeking professional help:
Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can provide effective therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). These therapies help individuals process their trauma, challenge negative beliefs, and develop coping mechanisms.
2. Building a support network:
Surrounding oneself with understanding and supportive individuals, such as friends, family, or support groups, can provide a safe space to share experiences, seek comfort, and gain perspective. Connecting with others who have gone through similar traumas can be particularly helpful.
3. Practicing self-care:
Engaging in activities that promote self-care and emotional well-being can contribute to healing. This may include regular exercise, mindfulness or relaxation techniques, maintaining a balanced diet, and prioritizing adequate sleep.
4. Engaging in trauma-focused therapies:
Specific therapies designed to address trauma, such as trauma-focused CBT or prolonged exposure therapy, can assist individuals in gradually confronting and processing their traumatic memories and reducing their impact.
5. Developing healthy coping strategies:
Learning and implementing healthy coping mechanisms, such as journaling, art therapy, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in hobbies, can provide outlets for emotions and stress reduction.
6. Medication and medical support:
In some cases, medication prescribed by a psychiatrist may be beneficial in managing symptoms of PTSD, such as anxiety or depression. It's important to consult with a medical professional for proper assessment and guidance.
It's important to note that every individual's journey to overcoming trauma and PTSD is unique, and the process may vary. Professional guidance and a personalized approach are crucial to address individual needs and circumstances effectively.
Overcoming traumatic experiences (Abuse) or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), from a Christian perspective involves integrating faith and spirituality into the healing process. Here are five to seven ways individuals can approach recovery:
1. Seek solace in prayer and scripture:
Engaging in prayer and studying relevant Bible verses can provide comfort and strength during challenging times. Meditating on passages that speak to God's love, peace, and restoration can offer hope and reassurance.
2. Lean on the support of a faith community:
Connecting with fellow believers who can provide understanding, encouragement, and prayer support can be invaluable. Church groups or support ministries can offer a sense of belonging and a safe space to share experiences.
3. Embrace forgiveness and grace:
Drawing from Christ's teachings on forgiveness, individuals can work towards forgiving those who have caused the trauma, as well as themselves. Recognizing God's grace and extending it to oneself and others can aid in the healing process.
4. Engage in Christian counseling or therapy:
Seeking therapy from a Christian counselor who integrates psychological techniques with spiritual principles can be beneficial. This approach helps individuals explore their trauma within the context of their faith and find healing through a holistic approach.
5. Participate in worship and spiritual practices:
Active participation in worship services, praise and worship sessions, and partaking in the sacraments can foster a sense of spiritual connectedness, promote emotional healing, and provide a space for surrender and release of burdens.
6. Serve others and find purpose:
Engaging in acts of service or volunteering within the church or community can provide a sense of purpose and contribute to the healing journey. Helping others can bring a renewed perspective and a deeper understanding of God's plan in the midst of suffering.
7. Trust in God's sovereignty and timing:
Recognizing that God is in control and trusting His plan, even in the face of trauma, can bring comfort and hope. Surrendering the pain and the journey to God's hands and relying on His guidance can provide strength and guidance throughout the healing process.
It's important to note that while faith can be a powerful tool in healing, seeking professional help from trained mental health professionals is essential for comprehensive support and treatment. Here are a few things that I found helpful as a former abuse victim. I began writing in my journals, blogs, and other places. A lot of help came from quiet time alone in nature. Self- care is must. I started catching up on my favourite television episodes, particularly Korean comedies or comedies of your choosing, and listening to uplifting music rather than music that makes you think about the past. I participated in hobbies I now have, including gardening, DIY projects, cooking, singing, dancing, and athletics. I just learnt to feel the feelings. If you feel like crying, do so. Let it all out. Trust me, it helps.
The most essential thing was that I began to pray and seek God. I developed a total trust in God. I realised how much God loved me and what a marvellous job he has been doing in my life for so many years. Whatever occurred merely served to highlight the fact that he was actively saving and assisting me. He was the only person to remain by my side after everyone else had left. You need to keep your distance from those who drag you down (the majority of them are close pals), I had to let go of a lot of friends. Release them. God gives you more forgiving people who support you and cheer you on even when circumstances appear to be most challenging. (A few people from my hometown and my Bible college pals). I had a mentor as well. I never divulged any personal information to her, but even simply talking to her was incredibly therapeutic for me.
After going through all of this, I was able to relate to people. I became into a far better version of myself than I ever was. Maybe, someday I will explicitly write about this. But for now, all I can urge you is that 'Turn your pain into power! This life has so much more to offer, dearest friend. If you ever need someone to speak to, you can always reach out to us :)
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