In today's rapidly changing world, young Christians face numerous challenges when it comes to practicing sexual stewardship. The prevalence of premarital sex, the influence of popular culture, and shifting societal norms can make it difficult for young Christians to navigate their sexual lives in alignment with their faith. However, it is possible to live out Christian values in this area by embracing sexual stewardship. In this article, we will explore what sexual stewardship means and provide practical advice for young Christians to incorporate it into their lives.
What is Sexual Stewardship?
"God does not blush when he speaks about intimacy or orgasms. He designed our bodies with parts that actually become one, in the most intimate and enjoyable way imaginable, to produce new life. . . . Sex should cause us to marvel at Jesus because all its pleasures point to the glorious one who made them."- Garrett Kell
Sexual stewardship involves recognizing that our bodies are gifts from God and, therefore, must be treated with respect and care. Sexual stewardship encourages individuals to use their sexuality in a way that aligns with biblical principles, emphasizing purity, commitment, and respect for one another. One of the central themes in the Bible is the call to sexual purity. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, the Apostle Paul admonishes believers to "flee from sexual immorality."
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." (1 Cor. 6:18-20)
He underscores the uniqueness of sexual sin, emphasizing that it impacts one's own body, which is described as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Believers are reminded that they were bought at a price and are, therefore, not their own but belong to God. This serves as a compelling reason to "honor God with their bodies." Likewise, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 echoes the call to sanctification, urging individuals to "avoid sexual immorality" and to exercise self-control over their bodies in a manner that is "holy and honorable." These passages underscore the Christian commitment to maintaining sexual purity, recognizing it as God's will for His followers.
The Bible also emphasizes fidelity within the marital relationship. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus reaffirms the sanctity of marriage by saying,
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate."
This sacred union, as ordained by God, should not be severed by human actions. In essence, marriage is a covenant relationship that should be upheld and honored. The Bible includes explicit commandments against adultery, as seen in Exodus 20:14, one of the Ten Commandments: "You shall not commit adultery." Furthermore, in Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus goes beyond the physical act of adultery and addresses the inner attitudes of lust. He declares that anyone who looks at another person with lustful intent has already committed adultery in their heart. This teaching underscores the importance of not only refraining from extramarital affairs but also cultivating purity of heart and mind.
Within the context of marriage, the Bible encourages mutual consent and fulfillment. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 highlights the importance of the husband and wife fulfilling each other's physical needs within the confines of the marital relationship. This teaching underscores the idea that sexual activity within marriage is not only permissible but also a means of promoting unity and intimacy between spouses.
How Bible Characters Handled Sexual Stewardship
In the Bible, there are various characters who are often cited as examples of both sexual stewardship and characters who failed in this area.
Joseph: Joseph, the son of Jacob (Israel), is perhaps one of the most famous examples of sexual stewardship in the Bible. As a slave in Potiphar's house, Joseph faced a grave temptation when Potiphar's wife made advances towards him. In this critical moment, Joseph's unwavering devotion to sexual integrity became evident. Joseph's response was characterized by both moral fortitude and respect. He rejected her advances, stating, "How can I do this wicked thing and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9). Joseph recognized the moral implications of his actions, not only as a violation of the trust placed in him by Potiphar but also as a transgression against God.
David: King David, a towering figure in biblical history, is celebrated for his remarkable achievements as a warrior, poet, and leader of ancient Israel. However, his life is also marked by a notable moral failing in the realm of sexual integrity. David's moral lapse centers around his affair with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite, one of his loyal soldiers. Bathsheba's beauty captivated David, and he succumbed to temptation, leading to a sexual relationship with her while her husband was away at war. When Bathsheba became pregnant, David attempted to cover up the affair by recalling Uriah from the battlefield in the hope that he would sleep with his wife and assume paternity. When Uriah remained faithful to his duty and did not go to his wife, David orchestrated his death by placing him on the frontlines of battle.
Solomon: Solomon's moral lapse revolved around his relationships with foreign wives. Despite God's explicit command against marrying foreign women, Solomon took numerous wives from neighboring nations. However, they had a significant spiritual cost. Solomon's descent into moral compromise began as he allowed his foreign wives to continue their idolatrous practices within Israel. He built high places for their pagan gods, which ultimately led him away from the worship of the one true God. Solomon's moral decline is poignantly captured in the Bible, which states, "His heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been" (1 Kings 11:4).
Abstinence Until Marriage
Abstinence until marriage is a principle that calls individuals to refrain from engaging in sexual relations outside the covenant of marriage. The Bible provides compelling reasons, outlines numerous benefits, and promises blessings for those who choose to adhere to this standard of sexual purity. Firstly, the Bible teaches that God designed human sexuality to be a beautiful and sacred expression of love within the marital relationship. By abstaining until marriage, individuals honor and respect this divine design (Hebrews 13:4). Secondly, the Bible consistently warns against sexual immorality, categorizing it as a sin against one's own body and against God. Abstinence serves as a safeguard against the moral pitfalls of engaging in premarital sex. Lastly, abstinence contributes to personal holiness. It assists individuals in maintaining purity not only in their physical actions but also in their thoughts, emotions, and spirit.
Abstinence until marriage offers a multitude of benefits. Emotionally and psychologically, individuals who practice abstinence often experience healthier outcomes. They are less likely to grapple with emotional trauma, regret, or complications in relationships. In terms of physical health, abstinence reduces the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancies. This contributes to overall well-being. Those who practice abstinence become living testimonies, demonstrating the beauty and value of God's design for sexuality to a world often marked by blurred ethical boundaries.
Set Boundaries
Setting physical and emotional boundaries in a relationship (dating)is essential. These boundaries help ensure that a relationship is centered on Christ and not driven solely by physical desires. Communicate openly with your partner about your boundaries and respect each other's limits. Setting boundaries helps individuals avoid situations and behaviors that may lead to temptation and sin. By establishing clear limits on physical affection, alone time, and other potential pitfalls, couples can safeguard their purity and maintain a focus on honoring God in their relationship.
For couples who are on a path toward marriage, setting boundaries can help lay a strong foundation for their future together. It allows them to cultivate self-control and discipline in their relationship, qualities that are vital for a successful marriage. Moreover, it enables them to enter into marriage with a sense of anticipation and reverence for the gift of physical intimacy that God has designed for marriage.
Accountability
It can be helpful to have an accountability partner, such as a trusted friend or mentor, with whom you can discuss your struggles and triumphs in practicing sexual stewardship. This support system can provide guidance and encouragement. Accountability partners or mentors are individuals who provide support, guidance, and a listening ear in matters of sexual integrity. They are trusted confidants who hold one another to high standards of purity and morality. Having accountability partners can include discussing boundaries, sharing struggles, and encouraging one another in the pursuit of sexual purity.
Accountability in sexual integrity requires openness and vulnerability. It means sharing one's challenges, temptations, and victories with trusted individuals. Being transparent about one's struggles fosters an environment of trust and enables accountability partners to provide effective support. Regular check-ins or meetings with accountability partners help individuals stay on track with their commitment to sexual integrity. Accountability also includes a pathway for repentance and restoration. If individuals stumble or make mistakes, they should be encouraged to seek forgiveness, repent, and receive support and guidance to get back on the path of sexual integrity.
Avoid Temptation
Recognize situations that may lead to temptation and make conscious choices to avoid them. This could include avoiding late-night alone time, being mindful of the content you consume, and choosing wholesome entertainment. Surround yourself with friends and acquaintances who share your values and support your commitment to purity. Avoid spending excessive time with individuals who may encourage or pressure you to compromise your values. Recognize situations that may lead to temptation and make a conscious effort to avoid them. For instance, if certain parties or friend groups tend to be conducive to temptation, consider skipping them.
Avoid spending extended periods of alone time with someone you're attracted to if it goes against your boundaries. Group settings or public spaces can be safer alternatives. Identify personal triggers that may lead to temptation, such as specific websites, apps, movies, or environments, and take steps to avoid or minimize exposure to these triggers. Channel your energy into positive activities, hobbies, and pursuits that are in line with your values. A busy and fulfilling life can reduce the opportunity for temptation to take hold.
Prayer and Scripture
Prayer is a powerful tool in maintaining sexual purity. Seek guidance and strength from God through prayer. Regularly engage with Scripture to gain a deeper understanding of God's design for sexuality and to find wisdom and encouragement. Prayer empowers individuals with the strength and self-control needed to resist temptation and avoid sexual immorality. By turning to God in prayer, individuals can draw on His divine strength to overcome desires and impulses that may lead them astray. Scripture helps individuals cultivate a renewed mindset. By meditating on God's Word, they can replace worldly and impure thoughts with thoughts that are pure, lovely, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). This transformation of the mind is essential for maintaining sexual integrity.
A Heterosexual Relationship
In the Book of Genesis, we encounter the creation narrative that lays the foundation for understanding God's design for human relationships. Genesis 1:27-28 tells us that God created humanity in His image, male and female, and blessed them with the command to "be fruitful and increase in number." It paints a picture of male and female as complementary aspects of His divine plan. Genesis 2 further illuminates the divine blueprint for relationships. God recognized that it was "not good for the man to be alone" and created a woman, Eve, as a suitable partner for Adam. Their union is described with profound simplicity: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." The unique bond between a man and a woman in marriage is a bond that reflects God's design for companionship, unity, and the formation of families.
In the New Testament, Jesus reaffirmed the significance of heterosexual marriage. In Matthew 19:4-6, he pointed to the Creator's original intent by quoting Genesis: "He made them male and female." Jesus emphasized that a man would leave his family to unite with his wife, becoming one flesh, and that this union was divinely ordained. His words underscored the sanctity and permanence of heterosexual marriage, indicating that it was a reflection of God's timeless plan.
Community Involvement
Being active in your church community can provide valuable support and encouragement in your journey of sexual stewardship. Attend youth groups, Bible studies, or other church activities where you can connect with like-minded peers. Church leaders and mentors can offer spiritual guidance rooted in biblical principles. They can provide counseling, prayer support, and pastoral care to help individuals navigate challenges related to sexual integrity. Church communities often emphasize accountability among members. You can form accountability relationships with trusted individuals within the church who can provide support and hold you responsible for your commitment to sexual integrity.
Many churches have youth and young adult groups that focus on topics related to faith, relationships, and purity. These groups create a safe and supportive environment for young people to discuss issues they face and seek guidance from peers and mentors. Regular participation in worship services and prayer gatherings can provide spiritual strength and a sense of connection to God, reinforcing your commitment to sexual integrity as an act of worship. Being part of a church community that upholds and promotes sexual integrity can reinforce your commitment to these values. It provides a supportive environment where these principles are upheld and celebrated.
I would like to end with this conviction: Sex is a holy sacrament. It is a divine gift. When practiced within the covenant of marriage, it is a form of worship.
“Sex is meant to be deeply theological and doxological. When it is, it’s better.”- Steve DeWitt
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